10 Things to Fix Before Saying Yes To a Marriage
1. Fix Uncommon Habits
Two different persons can never have same habits as this is related to individuality of their family and culture. Habits grow with time and sometimes its too difficult to change them. During married life two contradicting habits between husband and wife may have negative impacts. Listed below are most common activities where uncommon habits can affect the married life.
- Bed Time – Having similar sleeping pattern between couple can make life easy and happy. Couples with two different sleeping habits like one sleeping early whereas another sleeping very late may find difficult to adjust with each other.
- Wakeup time – Apart from sleeping time people may also have different wakeup timing. Usually, sleeping duration among different people varies between 5 to 8 hours. So even if married couples go to bed at the same time the wake up time may be different. Being adjustable about wakeup time is important in a relationship.
- Eating habits – Food is another vital part of our lives. The differences of eating habits before marriage may not matter between a couple but post marriage it becomes crucial. Having two different eating habits like vegetarian and non-vegetarian is not ideal in family atmosphere.
- Eating Time – Some people like to eat early whereas some people eat late and also some people have no fixed time for their meal. Uncommon eating time can be changed to suitable common time so that difference does not affect the relationship.
- Watching Television – A lot of possibilities lie when it comes to watching television. Both partners may have list of their choices but what is important is that having mutual understanding so that there is no clash. So even though it is odd to fix this topic before marriage but knowing common choices is important.
- Mobile Phone Habits – Time spent on mobile phones in urban areas could be higher than time spent elsewhere. Many people have addiction of gaming and social media activities. Spending too much time with mobile or any other gadgets can cut down time needed for your partner and hence it may have bad impact on a relationship.
2. Fix Uncommon Likings
Every individual is different due to his/her interest and hobbies. It is very unlikely that people in relationship have all common likings. Below are main area where uncommon likings can create a clash in a married life:
- Hobbies – When hobbies are different for two persons in a relationship what is important is that priority and mutual understand. With mutual agreement hobbies can be prioritized rather than trying to change or making one person compromise.
- Vacation Spot – Vacation is one of the most refreshing events in a relationship. As both partners can have different choices planning vacation with common interest is important for both partners to enjoy the vacation.
- Favorite Car – In a married life most of except clothes most of things become common between partners. There could be a big list of things which both partner may need to decide together. Car is one of them where individual’s choice could differ entirely however with mutual agreement common choice can be made by married couples.
- Favorite Place to Live – If two persons from two different cities get into a relationship then making a common choice to live together is important. This could be either hometown of any one person or could be a common choice of a third city.
3. Fix Uncommon Addictions or Bad Habits
While there could be hundreds of negative points in a person but one or a few good things in him/her is enough for another person to fall in love with him or her. Bad habits or addictions may not be a big deal before marriage however during married life it may affect the other partner and relationship both.
- Drinking – Drinking isn’t a crime and many people do drink alcohol today either occasionally or on a regular basis. According to the 2019 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), 85.6 percent of people ages 18 and older reported that they drank alcohol at some point in their lifetime. However addiction of drinking alcohol may not be always pleasing to partner in the relationship.
- Smoking – Similar to drinking smoking isn’t a good habit. If you are not a smoker whereas your partner does smoke then it may be difficult to adjust sometime. Mutual understanding on this topic is important so that it does not affect single person in the relationship.
- Partying – Who doesn’t love partying? During college and beginning of the office people love partying. It is very common to party with friends before marriage. However, partying with friends and colleagues after marriage can be annoying to the partner and can affect the relationship.
- Flirting – Playful bantering or gentle flirting with someone outside of your marriage is harmless if proper boundaries remain intact, according to psychologist Michael Brickey, author of “Defying Aging,” and many other relationship experts. However flirting with another person with different intentions may harm the trust in the relationship.
- Playing Video Games – Playing video games is not harmful to the relationship but having addiction and being stuck for long hours may create distance and misunderstanding between couple.
- Spending Too Much Time on Internet – If you want to be occupied then internet is the best thing. There is no limitation of reasons to be busy. People spend hours and hours time on internet. Spending too much time on internet could be either hobby or bad habit but either way it may affect the married relationship.
- Spending Too Much Time with Friends – Having friends and spending time with buddies is amazing experience. However after marriage prioritizing friends instead of wife or husband may create distance with your partner.
4. Dream Plans
Knowing each other’s dreams can help to plan future life together. If things are in two separate directions and there is no middle way then it leads to a conflict. Two people bonded in a relationship should have parallel dreams so that both persons’ dreams are lived together.
5. Accepting Un-harmful Differences
Every person is different from another. There are uncommon habits that can affect the second person in the relationship. However accepting differences which are not too difficult to adjust with is the best way leading a married life.
6. Handling Disputes
It is important how you deal with it when a dispute takes place. Some people may have agitation or anger whereas some people can resolve it with humor or discussion with the partner.
7. Know Your Partner’s Expectations
You may have certain plan for yourself as well as your partner but it is significant that you very well understand your partner’s expectations and vice versa. It is too satisfying when a closed one realizes his/her partner’s expectations and surprises his/her partner with making something happen as per his/her partner’s expectations.
8. Talk About Common Efforts for Family
Having a discussion over family’s responsibilities and plans to make it happen is crucial. Both need to realize their roles and responsibility towards family. Things can be easily managed if it is discussed and planned.
9. Be Ready for Small Changes
Dealing with changes starts with understanding your partner and learning ways to manage differences. Navigating relationships with intimate partners, friends, and family members is probably one of the most challenging and complex aspects of the human experience.
10. Being Selfless
Being selfless is all about putting the needs of others before your own. If you practice selflessness in your relationship regularly, it’s sure to run pretty smoothly. Selfless love is important in a relationship because it shows how much you value your partner and the relationship itself
Hopefully this article is helpful for you to fix differences with your partner before saying yes for a marriage.